


I See Your Love at the End of the World

by LovelyLoche



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, MAMA AU, Wolf AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-04 10:54:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1776544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyLoche/pseuds/LovelyLoche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo has been raised by a pair of boys who love him too much and yet never tell him enough. Too many inconsistencies and holes makes Kyungsoo a little too frustrated and curious.  He steps over the ledge and plummets into pain and a new journey; a chance to see that the end of his world is not the end of all that is and that another home lies beyond the edges of his own.</p>
<p>MAMA!Wolf AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

   
A month before the end of his world, Kyungsoo awoke to the smell of dark coffee and the feeling that something was terribly wrong with it.

When he stepped down into the kitchen, the feelings of intense wrongness multiplied. Luhan was nursing a small bone-china tea cup which, from the smell, was filled with coffee. On the opposite side of the warm kitchen, Yixing was gently stirring the boiling contents of his saucepan with a bright orange spatula.

Of course, the saucepan was also full of coffee.

“Why are you both so weird,” Kyungsoo moaned, running fingers through his messy hair as he plopped down at the small kitchen table. Luhan bopped him fondly on the forehead with with a piece of bacon (covered in peanut butter, Kyungsoo noted dryly) before shoving the meat into his mouth. Yixing turned with another teacup in his hand, a stream of coffee dribbling down one side, and set it down on the table in front of Kyungsoo.

“We’re not strange Kyungsoo-ah,” Yixing murmured as he dabbed peanut butter and bacon grease off of Kyungsoo’s forehead with his apron, “We just know how to use our things more functionally. That’s all.”

Functionally didn’t even describe one tenth of what went on in this house, Kyungsoo thought as Yixing began poking about the stove again. Kyungsoo helped himself to a sip of his coffee and then crunched on the half melted sprinkles Yixing had slipped into it. Across from him, Luhan was surreptitiously pouring chocolate milk over his peanut butter and bacon and then spooning the mess into his mouth like cereal. His canines flashed briefly as he shoveled food into his mouth.

“A friend is coming into town tomorrow,” Yixing remarked casually as he set down a plate steaming, kimchi sausages beside Luhan’s bowl, “our special friend.”

Luhan looked up immediately, a wide smile stretching slowly across his face.

“Good,” he grinned, "I've been getting bored. It’s been too long.”

~~~

“But I thought you liked playing with me,” Jongdae whined from where he was perched on top of his pastel purple sheets.

“It’s not that I don’t like being here Jongdae,” Kyungsoo mumbled.

“Your face is telling me a different story.”  
  
Jongdae ducked as a bright pink plushie came sailing through the air aimed at his head.

“I just hate feeling like I need to be dumped once a month,” Kyungsoo muttered, “like they need a break from babysitting me. I don’t need-”

“You don’t need to be treated like a child. Got it. But while you’re being babied, we might as well take advantage of it,” Jongdae grinned, waggling his eyebrows. “What goodies did they leave you with this time?”

“It’s like they think bribing me makes it all better,” Kyungsoo grumbled as he rummaged through the bag Yixing had left with him an hour earlier. He pulled out a small plastic bag half full of something amber and shiny and another filled with a crumbly pastry. He threw the first bag onto Jongdae’s bed and then sourly ripped open the second for himself.

“What is this?” Jongdae asked incredulously as he examined one of the dark amber shards in his palm. He popped the piece into his mouth and chewed loudly. He choked a little as he swallowed.

“Sugar covered jerky,” Kyungsoo mumbled around a mouthful of crumbs, “Yixing used up half a bag of sugar making this last night.”

“Has anyone told you lately that your family is weird?” Jongdae said as he chewed on another mouthful of the sweet, crunchy bits, “I mean, your mother’s cooking is amazing, but this is too much carnivore even for me.”

“He’s not my mother,” Kyungsoo sighed as he tossed the other half of his food at Jongdae.

“He might as well be. My roommates don’t take care of me like this.” Jongdae laughed, Kyungsoo’ leftover pastry stuffed in his mouth. His eyebrows quirked upwards in confusion as he chewed.

“Is this meat in the pastry Kyungsoo?!”

“You haven’t had your roommates for long enough,” Kyungsoo said, ignoring the question and stretching out on the thick carpet of Jongdae’s bedroom floor. He played with the loose strands, the soft woolly threads tickling his fingers.

“My roommates don’t act like my parents,” Jongdae said as he swallowed the last of Yixing’s baking, “they don’t even try to take care of themselves.”

“They’ll have to next month,” Kyungsoo snorted, “this vacation won’t last forever.”

“Don’t remind me,” Jongdae groaned as he straightened up, “I need to not think about work.”

For awhile, they both fell into a companionable quiet. Kyungsoo turned onto his side to look through the single window adorning Jongdae’s snug bedroom. The sky outside was tinged with the beginnings of dusk, soft orange and violet glowing on the edges of the horizon. A pale, full moon watched from overhead, it’s pallor ashen in the twilight sky.

“What do you think they’re doing now?” Jongdae asked quietly, nodding towards the darkening sky, “out there gutting wild bunnies or something?”

Kyungsoo didn’t answer him, uncurling from his hunched up position on the carpet to face the ceiling of Jongdae’s room.

“They said they were going hunting again,” Kyungsoo sighed, “like they do every month.”

“But this is the city,” Jongdae muttered, “There’s no forest big enough for that kind of thing for miles around here. What is there to hunt? Stray cats?”

“They don’t tell me where they go,” Kyungsoo grunted in frustration, “Just always that it’s too dangerous and too far-”

“They can’t go too far,” Jongdae interrupted, “because they always make it back the next morning to take you home. Always.”

“Then they go far enough,” Kyungsoo snorted, “Maybe they really do just run around the park shooting bunnies. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

A tablet suddenly landed on Kyungsoo’s stomach with a soft thumping sound. Kyungsoo grimaced and glanced at Jongdae’s face in the darkening room. Jongdae was grinning mischievously, which was never a good sign.

“Look at it,” Jongdae said pointedly, “and tell me you don’t think they’re lying to you.”

Kyungsoo flipped open the black cover of the tablet and squinted at the sudden brightness. He looked up in mild confusion.

“Did you accidentally break a town or something? ” he asked, gesturing at the bright sattelite map on the screen.

Jongdae rolled his eyes and out of bed, half sprawling into Kyungsoo’s lap as he shoved a finger onto the tablet screen.

“See this,” Jongdae said, jabbing at the image of the sprawling, gray cityscape, “this is where we live. Home, the great metropolis of the hero known as Chen, best city in the world.”

“And this,” he continued gesturing at the patches of forest green and rocky shale surrounding the circular gray, “is everything around us. Do you see what’s missing here?”

Kyungsoo blinked warily at the screen. At the heart of the image, the gray city blocks sprawled outward in a rough spiral surrounding a dark, wide river. Sparse patches of green forest dotted the vast stretch of mountain ranges that encircled their city. A few squares of light green and yellow farmland rested at the foot of the stone ranges.

“You are so slow,” Jongdae groaned. He tapped the screen again, expanding the image outward. “Kyungsoo, there isn’t a single patch of wildland big enough or legal enough to go hunting in around here. It’s all rocks and farms.”

Kyungsoo suddenly felt very, very cold.

“The nearest place that’s big enough for this kind of thing,” Jongdae continued, “is a day’s drive away. And even then, it’s not even legal to go hunting there. I looked it up, it’s a private nature reserve.”

“So what exactly have mommy and daddy been doing all these times you’ve been at the babysitters?”

For a long while, they both sat in silence. Jongdae was looking at him expectantly, as if waiting for the gears in Kyungsoo’s head to finish turning his brain towards the inevitable conclusion. Kyungsoo looked down, fingers clenched tight around the thin fabric of his clothing.

What was he supposed to say to that?

Kyungsoo had always suspected that Yixing and Luhan had not been telling him the truth about their once-a-month joyrides, but to have the lie thrust in front of his face so suddenly like this cut deep.

Maybe the two of them really did need a break from babysitting him. It wasn’t like they were really obligated to take care of him.

But they were the closest thing to family Kyungsoo had. Or at least he thought he had.

“Kyungsoo-ah, my glorious face is over here,” Jongdae drawled, flapping a hand under Kyungsoo’s nose. Kyungsoo scrunched up his eyebrows and smacked Jongdae’s hand lightly. Jongdae laughed and drew back to look for something underneath his bed. When he straightened again, he was holding something something wiry and black in his hands.

“This,” he gestured with a small flourish, “is going to be our secret project next month.”

For a minute, Kyungsoo just looked at the mess of wires and boxes.

“I’m not helping you fix anything you’ve broken,” he said firmly.

“Oh my god. It’s a tracking device, dumbass,” Jongdae rolled his eyes, “a beautiful piece of tech that’s going to help us air out whatever your mommy and daddy have in their closet-”

“They are not my parents!” Kyungsoo groaned, shoving Jongdae’s arm with his elbow, “And they’re brothers Jongdae! That’s just wrong.”

Jongdae frowned, setting down his equipment on the carpet between them. He turned away and began to untangle the mess, thin fingers carefully threading through the delicate looking bits.

“Aren’t you curious though?” Jongdae said as he struggled with a particularly stubborn knot in the wiring, “About what they do? And how they’ve been able to take care of themselves and you all these years when they’re barely older than you are?”

“They’re older than they look,” Kyungsoo said stubbornly, “they just- Luhan and Yixing, they’ve looked like that for years, since the beginning.”

Jongdae’s frown deepened, pulling down the corners of his lips. “You don’t think they’re drug smugglers or something right? I mean, I’m curious but I don’t want any gangsters trying to shoot up my ass-”

“They don't do those kinds of thing!” Kyungsoo exclaimed, “they- I don’t know what they do but it’s not illegal!”

“You don’t know that Kyungsoo,” Jongdae said, one corner of his mouth quirked up, “you ever think this might be the reason why those two refuse to tell you what they do? I mean, who ever thought someone as pretty as Luhan could be-”

“Jongdae, no,” Kyungsoo groaned, “they wouldn’t. They’re crazy and act like they’re aliens sometimes, but they’re not bad people. I know it.”

“No, you don't,” Jongdae rolled his eyes, “but we can find out. We should have done this  _years_  ago. Here, be a good boy and hold out your hand.”

Kyungsoo exhaled noisily in frustration but did as he was asked. Jongdae carefully placed a tiny, black, button like object onto Kyungsoo’s outstretched palm.

“This is a tracker device,” Jongdae said, poking the black button delicately, “I stole it from the leftover stockpile at my lab so it might not be as functional as it could be but it should work.”

“You are a terrible person, has anyone ever told you that?’ Kyungsoo deadpanned.

“Oh be quiet, you know you love it,” Jongdae smirked, the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth. He took the tracker from Kyungsoo’s palm carefully and dropped it into a small, black bag. “Here,” he said, thrusting the bag into Kyungsoo’s hands, “Just make sure you plant that somewhere on them before they drop you at my place next month. I glued a piece of velcro on one side so it should stick to anything they’re wearing.”

“Jongdae?” Kyungsoo sighed as he looked down at the black bag in his hands.

“Yes?”

“I think this might be the worst idea you've ever come up with.”

“I’m a genius, I know. Please, refer to me by my superhero alias and praise me some more.”

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

As always, Kyungsoo felt the keen sense of impending violence right before it hit him.

He had barely made it out the door before a blur of red hair and flailing limbs wrapped itself around his body, slowly cutting off his air supply.

“Kyungsoo, we missed you!” Luhan laughed, tucking Kyungsoo’s head deeper into this shoulder.

“I saw you yesterday,” Kyungsoo muttered, voice muffled against the thick material of Luhan’s sweatshirt. Kyungsoo felt another set of hands ruffling his hair, rough palms gently massaging his scalp.

“Isn’t it strange? Yesterday was a such a long time ago,” Yixing said softly from behind him. Kyungsoo knew that if he looked, there would a dimple in Yixing’s cheek right about now.

“You are so touchy,” Kyungsoo grumbled, but he leaned in a little deeper all the same. Luhan snickered before letting him go, steering Kyungsoo to the car with one arm around his shoulder.

“Scoot!” Luhan clucked as he pushed Kyungsoo gently into the car. Kyungsoo obliged and hunched over, sliding further into the car so that Luhan could crawl into the back seat beside him.

“Like I said. So damn touchy.” Kyungsoo groaned as Luhan immediately sprawled out on the backseat, head pillowed on Kyungsoo’s lap, limbs splayed haphazardly all over Kyungsoo’s personal space.  

“But we missed you, puppy,” Luhan whined with a smile, patting Kyungsoo’s cheek with one hand, “didn’t you miss us too?”

“I think I could have lived without your presence for a little while longer.”

 

~~~

 

The next few weeks were the slowest patches of time Kyungsoo had ever experienced. It was like the revelation of something he always suspected to be a lie had somehow dammed up the flow of his life. He still did the things he had always done, but the constant, dull, whine of a hidden secret made everything feel a little bit wrong.

He knew that Yixing had noticed it. There were times when he could feel Yixing’s eyes lingering on him, and when Kyungsoo helped with the cooking or the cleaning, Yixing would lay a hand on Kyungsoo’s back for a few moments longer than usual, rubbing careful, comforting circles into his skin.

But he never asked, and Kyungsoo appreciated Yixing’s patience now more than he ever had in his life.

But that didn’t stop him from checking the house for any traces of drugs or weapons when the two of them were out. Yixing was rather forgetful and sometimes walked around the house as if he had forgotten where he was. Kyungsoo had always just chalked it up to Yixing’s being inherently _weird_.

Now, he wondered if maybe Yixing really _was_ some sort of drug lord and just high all the time.

But even as the weeks passed and Kyungsoo found no sign of suspicious powders or weapons in the house, his sense of unease grew stronger. Something was nagging at the back of his mind, and he wasn’t quite sure what it was anymore. He knew that it wasn’t just the fact that he had even _less_ of an idea of what Yixing and Luhan actually did.

Something wasn’t right. Something _really_ wasn’t right but he had no idea what it was. All he had was the strange buzz in the back of his mind knocking against his consciousness when he least needed it.  Like he had forgotten to pick something up or accidentally set something on fire but couldn’t for the life of him remember where he had done it.

The next week, Kyungsoo found himself abruptly listless and tired for no reason at all. He began to pick at Yixing’s food, and found himself waking up more tired than when he collapsed into bed.

He woke up one morning to the strong, spicy smell of frying kimchi sausages which should have made him hungry but instead made him nauseous. He gingerly sat up in bed, rubbing his eyelids as he swung his feet over to the side. The feeling of nausea increased and Kyungsoo swallowed thickly as he tried to settle his stomach. Slowly, he leaned forward, feet hitting the wooden floorboards as he straightened up.

The next moment, the floorboards jerked up to meet his body as his legs collapsed from underneath him. A ominous cracking sound shot through the room as his chin collided with the wooden floor. Pain blossomed white and hot under his head. Kyungsoo groaned, dazed with pain, before reaching up under his chin and wincing as he felt something wet. He heard the hurried sound of footsteps rushing up the stairs before his door was wrenched open. There were hands on him in an instant, gently turning him over onto his back. He looked up to see two pairs of worried eyes fixed upon him and winced when he felt the wound under his chin sting as he shifted.

“I’m fine,” he croaked as he tried to sit up, “I just fell.”

He felt Yixing wrap an arm around his back, supporting his frame as he tried to straighten up.

“Kyungsoo,” Yixing whispered, “Don’t move. You fell pretty hard.”

“No, no I’m fine,” Kyungsoo groaned, as he tried to push his weight forward, “I’m- ”

The next moment, Kyungsoo pitched forward, the edges of his vision tinged with black. Arms immediately wrapped around his torso, holding him up and refusing to let his head touch the ground again. He clutched at the floor weakly, wondering what the hell was going on.

“You need to get back into bed,” Luhan urged, gently maneuvering him backwards so that Kyungsoo could rest most of his weight on Luhan’s chest, “I need to move you, alright?” Kyungsoo weakly nodded, head lolling against Luhan’s shoulder.

He felt Luhan slide an arm under his legs and then slowly lift him upwards. A wave of dizziness rocked through him at the motion and Kyungsoo fought the urge to vomit. Little by little, Luhan lowered him gently back down onto his warm comforter. As he sank into his pillow in relief, Kyungsoo felt a hand lightly brush away the sweaty bangs from his forehead.

“He’s burning up,” Yixing whispered, and Kyungsoo could almost feel the look they threw at each other with his eyes closed.

“Kyungsoo,” Yixing said softly, “I need you to open your eyes. Just for a little bit. Can you do that for me?”

It was like dragging leaden weights up with his eyelids but Kyungsoo complied, eyelashes fluttering open. There were white spots swimming in his vision and he tried to shake his head to clear them away. He felt Yixing slide a hand under his injured chin, carefully avoiding the wound and lightly tugging his face upward. Kyungsoo stared blearily back at him, his gaze unfocused. And then Luhan heaved a sigh, and Kyungsoo saw some of the tension drain out of Yixing’s shoulders.

“Go back to sleep Kyungsoo,” Yixing said gently, “you’ll be alright.”

Kyungsoo closed his eyes and complied, letting himself be soothed by the feeling of Yixing’s fingers combing through his hair.

 

~~~

 

_He is shivering but there are warm arms around him. Holding him together. He is pressed against gentle heat, his limbs wrapping themselves around the radiating warmth. Voices diffuse around him, words slipping in and out of understanding._

_“The next time this happens, you get to go out in the cold and I stay in and cuddle.”_

_A warm hand is massaging the back of his neck. Smooth, steady pressure rolls over him in waves. He makes a soft sound and tries to sink deeper into that warmth, clings tighter to the body surrounding him. The arms holding him tighten their embrace, and there is the light touch of a kiss in his hair._

_“Can we take a picture? God, he’s adorable when he’s like this. Why can’t he let us cuddle him when he’s awake?”_

_“Shhh. Don’t be so loud. Go find what you need to and come back._  

_“Fine, fine. Be that way. Have fun at home while I do all the dirty work.”_

_“Luhan.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Stop whining and go.”_

_“Ok, ok. I’m going. Try not to shed everywhere this time.”_

_Footsteps. A door opening and closing. A rush of cool air flowing into the room that makes him quake with the sudden chill. He whimpers and tries to dig deeper into the warmth, tries to burrow himself into this hidden, safe place and never come back out. A warm, low, chuckle reverberates around him, and he is held tighter, pressed closer._

_“Shhhhh. Calm down.”_

_The heat is growing stronger. He grasps at it, refuses to let it go._

_“I’m right here. I’ll always be here.”_

_All around him, the warmth spreads outward, morphs beneath his pliant body. Heat pools and intensifies, a silky, smooth softness replacing the feel of skin and clothing. Softness tenderly wraps around his body, encircling him in a heavy, drowsy warmth. His eyes open a little, and he sees an ocean of white fur surrounding him, and above him, dark, liquid eyes that look achingly familiar. Something warm and wet slides across his cheek, and he closes his eyes again, sinking back down into velvety fur and comforting heat. A solid weight settles on his shoulder, nuzzling him, and he drifts back into the comforting dark._

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Darkness- thick and heavy. Roiling around him, under him, through him.

Something was burning. Kyungsoo awoke to the heavy, dirty taste of smoke in his mouth. He coughed violently, his lungs protesting against the acrid tang, and then someone was holding a cool cloth against his mouth.

“Breathe, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo inhaled and the scent of something spicy and grassy filled his lungs. He coughed weakly into the damp cloth before it was taken away and he could breathe freely again. The smokey taste in his mouth had dampened enough for Kyungsoo to inhale without grimacing. Familiar fingers rubbed the back of his neck soothingly as he finally cracked open an eye.

“Morning, puppy!”

Kyungsoo groaned, turning over to bury his face back into his blanket. “Go away,” he croaked, “I don’t need this right now.”

Of course, no one listened to him. And of course, Kyungsoo found himself quickly being suffocated under a Luhan wrapped blanket. He struggled in vain for a minute, trying to claw himself out, before giving up.

“We were worried about you,” Luhan said with a grin, tightening his vice-like hold, “Just let me revel in your health for a bit.”

“You are not helping my health right now,” Kyungsoo mumbled, “Get off already!”

When Kyungsoo was finally able to get up, he did a double-take, rubbing his eyes as he took in the state of his environment. A thick layer of something grimy covered the walls of his room, as if someone had set off a smoke bomb inside while he was sleeping.

“So we had a bit of an accident…” Luhan said sheepishly, scratching at the back of his head.

“Were you trying to set me on fire?” Kyungsoo asked hoarsely, glaring at the redhead.

“Of course not!” Luhan pouted, “we just...we have a friend who’s a bit of an ass. That’s all. He gave us something to wake you up and it worked a little too well. I wasn’t expecting it to give off this much smoke.”

It was then that Kyungsoo noticed a blackened pot on the floor beside his bed. A thin, lazy curl of smoke was still petering upward from the dim embers at the heart of the pot. Kyungsoo turned to look at Luhan incredulously.

“Why did you need to set a fire to wake me up?”

For a long time, there was no answer. Luhan fidgeted, not quite meeting Kyungsoo’s eyes, his mouth turned down in a frown. Kyungsoo waited, heart sinking with each second that ticked by.

He hated when this happened. This terribly familiar standoff they always had whenever Kyungsoo bumped into some godforsaken secret they were determined to keep from him.

“You were sick,” Luhan said finally,  “really sick. It’s...it’s old medicine. And it worked.”

Kyungsoo’s hands clenched into fists, damp sheets bunched inside them. He really hated when this happened.

“Kyungsoo,” Luhan said quietly. Kyungsoo heard him shuffle over, and then a hand was under his chin, tilting his face upward. Luhan’s face was blank, but there was something a little sad in his gaze.

“Kyungsoo,” Luhan repeated, “just...just trust me this once? If there was any other way, we would have done it.”

Kyungsoo stayed silent, eyes never moving. 

“Why do you never tell me the whole truth?” Kyungsoo bit out finally. Luhan looked away, his mouth flattening into a thin line. Kyungsoo wanted to shake him.

“What was wrong with me?” he asked heatedly, “Tell me at least that much?”

“…” Luhan trailed off, biting at his lower lip. Kyungsoo waited, fingers clenched.

“We care about you,” Luhan said finally, looking up at Kyungsoo. “I know you’re frustrated,” he continued, holding up his hand when Kyungsoo opened his mouth furiously, “I know you probably want to hit me right now, but you have to trust us. Just believe me when I tell you that I can’t tell you everything. At least not right now.”

“Kyungsoo,” Luhan whispered, his hand gently covering Kyungsoo’s closed fist, “trust me. Yixing and I, we would never keep this from you to hurt you.”

_We would never hurt you._

Luhan held his gaze solemnly, his dark, warm eyes gazing at Kyungsoo with all the affection in the world.

_Trust me. Please. We love you._

Kyungsoo finally looked away, the anger that had been coiled tight and heavy in his stomach dissolving a little bit, as much as he hated to admit it. Luhan was stroking the back of his hand with his thumb, rubbing slow, comforting circles into the skin. “Puppy,” he murmured, leaning in to press his forehead gently against Kyungsoo’s, “trust me?”

For a long while, neither of them said anything, the room filled with nothing but the sound of quiet breathing. It was Kyungsoo who finally broke the silence.

“Are you really a drug dealer?” he blurted, pulling back slightly to look Luhan in the eye. Luhan’s eyes widened before he snorted uncontrollably, breaking out into extraordinarily unmanly giggles.

“No,” he chuckled, “Kyungsoo, we don’t do things like that. Really.”

“...I don’t believe you.”

“Look at me! Does this look like the face of a gangster?”

“Why else would you need to hide things from me?!”

Luhan pressed a hand to the side of his temple, his expression caught between amused and apologetic. In the dim, morning light filtering into the room, he suddenly looked a little older, and a little more worn.

“We’ll tell you someday,” he said at last, looking up to offer Kyungsoo a small smile, “just not now. There’s a reason for it, and if it wasn’t a good one, we would have never kept anything from you at all.”

“I know it’s hard, but trust me?”

Kyungsoo looked downwards, his hair falling into his eyes.

“Alright,” he said quietly, “but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. And I’m not letting you off the hook for trying to set my room on fire.”

“I’d never ask for that much,” Luhan said playfully, the corners of his mouth finally quirking up a little. He gave Kyungsoo’s shoulder a soft squeeze, and then stood up. A few, short strands floated to the ground as he rose, settling onto Kyungsoo’s sheets. Kyungsoo wrinkled his nose in distaste.

“Stop shedding on me,” he said drily, trying brush the handful of red hairs off of his blanket, “You’ve already defiled enough of the things I love.”

“I’ve done no such thing,” Luhan grinned. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and threw off his blanket. He squinted as he looked down at himself. There was something white and fine littered all over his clothing, some of it bunching together in clumps. He ran a hand down his chest, trying to brush it off. It stuck to him stubbornly, clinging onto his shirt. He raised an eyebrow at Luhan, who was giving him a half amused, half guilty smile.

“Did you bring a dog over?” Kyungsoo asked carefully, trying to pick the clumps of short, white hair off of his chest.

“...Yes?” Luhan answered sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. Kyungsoo gave him a pointed look, a very I-expect-more-of-an-explanation-than-that look.

“Our friend...he brought over his dog. It was furry and it liked you a lot. You were shivering really badly and he kept trying to keep you warm. That’s all.”

“...I don’t remember any of this.”

“You were out cold. Believe me, it was... cute,” Luhan said, smiling a little.

“...I am not cute.”

“You’re my baby. Of course you are.”

Kyungsoo wondered if he could kill if he glared hard enough. Luhan grinned unapologetically and offered Kyungsoo his arm to pull himself up. “Come on,” he said, “let’s bother Yixing for something to eat.”

Kyungsoo scowled but took Luhan’s proffered arm. He gritted his teeth, forcing his body to stand upright. The sudden rush of blood downwards made him dizzy, and he let himself lean on Luhan for a moment.

“Can you walk?” Luhan asked quietly, wrapping his other arm around Kyungsoo’s waist. Kyungsoo nodded.

“I’m not a baby,” he croaked, stepping forward stubbornly. His leg buckled underneath him, and he would have fallen if Luhan had not been taking most of his weight. Kyungsoo swore under his breath. Luhan chuckled.

“Language,” he chided.  Luhan tucked an arm under Kyungsoo’s legs and lifted, picking him up clean off the ground. Kyungsoo swore louder, clutching at Luhan’s shoulders as they began to move.

“I hate you,” he said, sulking as they descended the stairs. He could hear the sound of Yixing humming and the crackling of oil in a pan. The spicy scent of kimchi stew wafted up to meet him halfway down the steps.

“Love you too,” Luhan chuckled, bouncing down the stairs with a little extra vigor.

 

~~~

 

A week later, Kyungsoo stood on Jongdae’s front porch, clutching his backpack in one slightly sweaty hand and clutching at his pride in the other.

This was, quite possibly, the most embarrassing moment of his life. He fidgeted, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and opened his mouth.

And then promptly closed it again the moment Yixing turned around. Yixing’s brow was furrowed in concentration as he balanced a paper bag on top of a bright red suitcase. He was rummaging in his pocket for something when Kyungsoo decided that he’d had enough. 

“Yixing.”

“Hmm?” Yixing raised his head, glancing at Kyungsoo with a quizzical expression. Kyungsoo opened his mouth again and willed himself to talk.

“...CanIhaveahug.”

Yixing’s eyes widened comically. Kyungsoo would have snickered if he wasn’t utterly mortified.

“...Say that again?” Yixing asked, disbelief ringing in his voice.

Kyungsoo gritted his teeth and stepped forward before he could change his mind, keeping his eyes resolutely on the ground.

“...Can I have a hug?”

Dead, awkward silence. Kyungsoo wondered if he could bore a hole into the ground to crawl into if he stared hard enough.

‘Why did I think this was a good idea?”

Yixing suddenly laughed, surprise cracking through the low sound, before Kyungsoo was enveloped in his embrace, his face pressed into a warm shoulder.

“I never thought I’d get to hear you ask ever again,” he murmured, still smiling slightly. Kyungsoo huffed, his face burning, but reached up to wrap one arm around Yixing’s torso, his hand resting beneath the scruffy collar.

“Don’t get used to it,” he warned, squeezing with a little more force than was necessary. Yixing winced a little and Kyungsoo felt a tiny bit better. He quickly quashed the guilt before it could rear its ugly head.

“I won’t say anything if you don’t,” Yixing whispered, his eyes crinkling into tiny crescents, “we’ll have to keep Luhan in the dark about this or he’ll sulk for a week.”

Kyungsoo grunted in agreement. And of course, at that exact moment, Chen’s front door slammed open and Luhan emerged, a rather hurt expression on his face.

“So you let Yixing hug you but not me?” he whined, crossing his arms over his chest. “You ask for hugs from him but you won’t even let me-”

“Today is special,” Kyungsoo interrupted, hurriedly backpedaling from Yixing’s arms,  “and it’s not happening again. Ever.”

He did mean it. He prayed that the bug he had stuck underneath Yixing’s collar would stay there and that he wouldn’t need to do anything this desperate ever again.

 

~~~

 

“Oh my god. I thought they would never leave. What did you do Kyungsoo?”

 “What are you talking about?”

“Luhan's face? His my-heart-was-broken-into-a-million-pieces-by-an-insensitive-twat face? And it took both of us to pry him off of you. You did something Kyungsoo. I know it.”

“...I did nothing.”

Jongdae snorted. “He’s so sensitive when it comes to you. What terrible, horrible thing did you do to him?”

“This was your idea,” Kyungsoo muttered, fists clenching and unclenching in the rough material of Jongdae’s carpet, “I had to get the bug onto one of them somehow.”

“You could have just stuck it onto their clothes beforehand you know.”

“Have you seen their closet? Their godforsaken department store of a closet? How was I suppose to know what they were going to wear?”

“I’m just saying that you could have done this without breaking any hearts.”

Kyungsoo looked away, his hands clenched tightly in his lap. “Just boot it up already,” he muttered, tamping down on the guilt that was trying to squeeze into the crevices of his conscience, “Tell me where they are now.”

Chen gave him a look but didn’t say anything more. He looked back at the screen of his laptop, brows furrowed in concentration. “They’re about to leave the city,” he said softly, following the path of a bright yellow dot on his minimap.

“Good. Let’s go,” Kyungsoo said darkly, leaning backwards to snag his jacket off the ground.

The boys scurried downstairs and into Jongdae’s car, Kyungsoo keeping Jongdae’s laptop secured in his lap. Jongdae twisted the key in the ignition and the small car came to life, rumbling in a smooth, steady purr. “Lead the way captain,” he grinned, backing out of the driveway, “if you get us lost and we’re not back by tomorrow morning, it’s not gonna be me that gets it.”

“Shut up and drive faster,” Kyungsoo swallowed, trying to concentrate on the path of the yellow dot now moving steadily into the mountains.

 

~~~

 

Somewhere on the journey, the sky had clouded over in great waves of rolling grey. Jongdae drove steadily onward, the dim lights of the dashboard illuminating his face with a ghostly, mottled glow. Kyungsoo sat next to him, balancing Jongdae’s laptop on his lap, his eyes alternating between the screen’s steady light and the soft forest blur outside the car window. There was a quiet calmness inside, utter silence but for the steady rumble of the engine beneath them.

Kyungsoo had a strange feeling that it wouldn’t last, like the calm before a downpour. He could feel the beginnings of a storm in the air.

“Are we there yet?” Jongdae grumbled beside him, his eyes slightly glazed over from boredom.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo said bluntly, “We’re here. This is where I kick you out of the car and keep driving over your dead body.”

“So touchy,” Jongdae groaned, lifting one hand off the steering wheel to rub his eyes, “I’m bored Kyungsoo. Entertain me.”

Kyungsoo said nothing, choosing to ignore the boy beside him. He gazed back out the window, his eyes tracing the outlines of the stormclouds in the sky. 

“If you don’t drive faster, we’re going to have to track them in the rain,” Kyungsoo muttered, glancing back down at the laptop screen. The yellow dot was moving steadily onwards, farther and farther from the city behind them and deeper into the dark, forested ranges ahead. Kyungsoo watched as the dot made a sharp turn a few miles ahead of them, driving off the thin white line that was the concrete road and into the pale gray of the mountains.

“They’ve driven off the road,” he said sharply, glancing at Jongdae from the corner of his eyes. Jongdae sucked in a breath through his teeth. “You don’t think…they know do they?”the other boy said hesitantly. “Oh my god, what if we’ve been driving into mafia territory all along and their gangster lookouts have spotted us and warned them and we’re about about to get shot-”

“Stop it,” Kyungsoo snapped, “nobody is in the mafia and nobody is getting shot. Just keep driving. I’ll tell you when to turn when we get there.”

He refused to acknowledge the vague sense of panic rising in his own chest. And the small bit of guilt that had been growing in the shadows behind everything else from the start.

What would they say if they knew what he was doing? That he hadn’t trusted them enough to let them keep their secrets in the end?

They drove onwards in silence. Kyungsoo sat there, hunkered over the glowing screen, and tried his best to drown out the murmuring guilt inside of him. Outside, the rain began to fall in sharp, grey streaks, each drop hitting the metal roof like a soft gunshot, each a dim warning ringing in Kyungsoo’s ears.


End file.
